"Awful and Awesome": The Big 12

I cannot believe I can say actually this... I ran 12 miles this morning!!!

(Our route today.)

That is the farthest I've ever run at one time in my life, and it's the farthest we're going to get to in our training before 13.1 on the day of the half.  I have to admit, today was very challenging... but I never could have imagined the many ways God's faithfulness and His presence would be so graciously abundant.  (Apologies in advance for the long post, but I want to document the details of this one... it was a big one in my training and pretty special.)  I will explain...

First of all, today's run almost didn't happen at all.  The forecast was calling for not just rain but bad thunderstorms, as the storms that had caused outbreaks of tornadoes in states west of us were just beginning to roll up to the coast.  Up until the very last minute I would have to leave my house in order to make it down there in time, everyone was conflicted about going or not; a few people even went ahead and rescheduled.  The conversations on our group page on Facebook looked like this...

 

In the end, several of us decided to risk it... and I'm SO GLAD we did!  The rain was pouring for the first half of our run, and there was some crazy wind during the second half, but just getting this one in on schedule was such a relief to me.  I can't imagine trying to fit in 12 miles on a weekday afternoon/evening to make up for it!  (Much, MUCH less on a treadmill.)  Besides the crazy wind and rain, we managed to dodge the severe thunderstorms and stay on track... yeahhh!

Here we are before the run...

Dark clouds but indomitable spirits!!!

I had felt really good all week during my short runs, and I guess that somehow translated to today because I ended up running with a couple girls at a faster pace than what I've been doing on Saturdays.  (One of the great things about training with a big group: getting to know new people!)  At first I was a little nervous about starting 12 miles at a faster pace... but I just felt good and decided to stick it out.  Despite all the rain, that first half of our run was actually pretty great.  I was really enjoying the company, the conversation, and even the challenge of "keeping up."

And then... the downward slope began.

One of the two girls I was with split off from us at around 6 miles to head back (she had pre-determined a shorter distance today because of knee problems), and a mile or so later, the other needed to begin run-walking (alternating between the two).  All of a sudden I found myself all alone.  I was in between the "fast girls" up ahead and two groups behind me.  I had no music (with the forecast the way it was that morning, I had decided to skimp on the electronics for fear of electrocution!).  And I was finding myself starting to burn out after an ambitious start.  Almost the entire way from Johnnie Mercer's Pier to the end of the road at the north end and back was pretty bad: I hit a wall.  I felt like I was in the doldrums.  If you can get that awesome runner's high from a great, feeling-good 5-miler, I'm pretty sure that being stuck in a rut in the middle of a 12-miler can feel every bit of TWICE as bad.  That one stretch was quite possibly the longest 3.5 miles I have ever run.

But halfway down to the north end, something pretty cool happened...  Running down the road alongside some really nice beach houses, I happened to look over once, and that's when I saw the mailbox.  It was a fairly large mailbox, all decked out in coastal decorum.  The numbers of the street address were on the side as you would expect, but it also had the owners' last name in big letters at the top—a last name that gave me chills...

I live right next door to a senior center, and since I work at a church and have Friday/Saturday weekends, I typically spend my Friday mornings visiting the elderly residents inside.  I have been doing this since around September, so I've had the wonderful opportunity of getting to know many of the "regulars" on my list.  Just yesterday, I found out that one of the residents I love to visit passed away the night before (Thursday night).  Mrs. M. was SUCH a sweet lady.  Still sharp in the mind, I loved her for her sweet spirit and the joy she carried despite her circumstances—a rare find.  She was bedridden, and I mean lying-down-flat bedridden, not just confined to her bed.  But the most amazing quality about Mrs. M. was the huge amount of HOPE she always had that she would be able to get up and walk again.  I never knew her without that hope shining through; she was incredible.

Seeing that mailbox with her same last name on it this morning could not have come at a more perfect time; I truly felt like it was from God.  At that point on, all I could think about was Mrs. M.  She would have given anything to walk again—even to stand.  If I was out there to run 12 miles, there was no way I was going to just quit.  I felt like I was doing it for her.  And I didn't want to let her down.  I felt like if I didn't do this now, if instead I said "maybe I'll get there next time," I knew I wasn't necessarily guaranteed a next time.  Why not now?  We can all say "tomorrow" until the tomorrow we wake up at 88 years old.  It gave me a renewed strength and inspired me to say here that no matter what your dream, your one word, or your goal... don't wait, and don't give up!!

Not to say I wasn't exhausted by the time I hit the home stretch... oh my goodness!!!  I wanted to stop so badly.  But I remembered a friend saying to me once, "It's not whether or not your body can run what you set out to do; it's whether your mind can."  So I committed in my mind that I could do it and literally pushed myself through.  Not long after reaching Channel Walk, I caught up to a girl who had been ahead of me and had stopped.  She was obviously super tired.... but we were SO CLOSE!  I asked if she wanted to finish with me, and was very happy when she said yes and was able to get going again.  (Another great thing about running with a big group: You can help motivate and encourage one another along!)

Running up beside Channel Walk back toward our start/finish for our last two miles, the most incredible thing happened.  We were hurting, that's for sure (everything in my body was aching and screaming at me)... but God sent another affirmation of His presence and His faithfulness—make that a double affirmation. :)  The rain had cleared, and suddenly we were staring straight ahead at an absolutely STUNNING double rainbow.  I could not get over how gorgeous it was; everyone at the finish said it's what got them through those last two miles.  I'm SO glad someone in one of the groups behind me got this photo:    

When we got around the trees, you could see that bottom rainbow from end to end, stretching over the Intracoastal Waterway.  It was one of the most beautiful I have ever seen... KENYA beautiful, and I can't even believe I'm saying that!!! ;)

Finishing 12 felt amazing.  Another personal record.  (And I really couldn't believe where I finished among this group of girls I so admire... definitely a faster pace than I have been doing recently!).  It's going to be so helpful (mentally) on race day to know that I was able to do 12 miles without walking.  What's really incredible is to think that just over a couple months ago, right around Christmastime, I was still very hesitant about signing up for this half marathon.  I was unsure of myself as a runner and had never before run more than five miles or so at one time.  The training, where I'm training, and especially who I'm training with has made all the difference.  God is so good and so faithful.  I have Type 1 diabetes, and not once have I had an episode while training—short runs or long.  It absolutely floors me.

I am home now and finally feel somewhat normal, several hours later.  I don't think my body quite knew what to do with what it was feeling after that run... I'm not sure I have EVER been as exhausted or sore.  My husband came home to find me drying my hair on the FLOOR of our bedroom after my shower because I simply couldn't be on my feet anymore... HA!  At one point earlier this afternoon I was sitting on the couch, having had to pee for the last half hour but couldn't bring myself to actually get up.  I am just now feeling like I can MOVE again... What a crazy experience!  But I wouldn't have given this up for the world... not any of it.