mind games

A few things to note this week…

After the 8 miles last weekend, and my short runs during the week being 5 and 4's, I realized that I have put in more miles this past week than I ever have before—ever!  This past Saturday was actually our "scale-back" long run, so we aren't bumping up to 9 miles until this coming weekend, but the whole week before that I felt like I was really knocking it out.  There is definitely a sense of achievement in all that, but honestly part of what I am most excited about is the way that I feel.  No tightness or soreness, no aches and pains.  The only thing I know to contribute that to is stretching (ALL the time: before and after runs, in between, and every morning), and good running shoes.  (If there is anything else I don't know about, then I hope in blissful unawareness I just keep doing what I'm doing!)  I don't know if all this running will catch up to me eventually, but for now I'm just really trying to pay attention to how I feel and will simply keep going as long as I feel like I can.

Speaking of the scale-back weekend, this past Saturday I only did 4 miles, but I was averaging a 9:30 pace.  That is not going to sound all that great to many people, but I was proud of it.  I finally got a good playlist onto my iPhone, whereas I used to simply put my iPod on shuffle.  I'm telling you... especially when/if I'm ever by myself, the music makes a big difference.

That is also the day I got PULLED OVER.  Whoops!!  Hasn't happened in years, but he got me for doing 55 in a 45 on my way to run.  (My husband pointed out that I wasn't even a mile away from the house... guess that's not the place for me to be working on my time!!!)  The good news is, the cop only gave me a warning. :)  And I think it kind of became motivation for my run when I finally got to the park.  Catch me on foot!!!  Haha.  (Really, people; I am not a law-breaker.)

So here's something funny.  I can remember having crazy dreams about my wedding before I got married.  It was while we were engaged, and I was right in the middle of planning.  I know of other girls who have said they did this: either showing up late for the wedding, or when they got there everything was completely different than what was planned.  Well, last night, I dreamt about the marathon!  And it was the same type thing!  It's so funny because this is the only other time besides my wedding that I've done this.  In my dream, I was late to the race (the start line of which, by the way, was in my parents' backyard).  So I was already way behind, and then they had all these obstacles and games you had to play all along the way.  It ended up taking us SIX HOURS to complete 13.1 miles, and I was so frustrated because all I wanted to do was run.  The worst part was getting to the finish, and it was dark outside, and my whole family had been standing there waiting the entire time... six hours later.  This is really telling, I think.  Haha!  I have this huge thing with being late, not just for punctuality's sake but because I absolutely hate making people wait.  I must also be subconsciously worried about being behind everyone else and running into challenges along the way.  I think the best thing I can do is laugh that one off (really, how silly!) and try not to put so much pressure on race day—which, as I emphasized in a previous post ("Set-back and an A-Ha Moment"), I didn't THINK I had been doing lately... The mind is such a funny thing.

Well, like I said, we're doing 9 miles this coming weekend... I swear I feel like every single week I'm wondering how I'm supposed to be able to bump up another whole mile.  The way this training works is just crazy to me!  But I have to continue laying down the "logic" of it all and just trust that it can (and will) be done.  It's a whole new process of surrender.  I mentioned in my very first post ("So Not A Runner") something my pastor has said: "'How' is third."  "How" is not the first question we should ask when we cast vision for something—it's actually the third.  I definitely wonder, but I'm going to stop asking.  Especially now that I've seen 8 happen, and it was the same thing in my mind the week before that... I'm going to trust experience, not fear!

Speaking of the mind, I have to end with a quote a friend of mine said today while we were doing a short run together.  We've worked out together but never actually run together before, and she had a great perspective from the half she did last year.  We were talking about how mental running is.  She said she eventually realized that it wasn't about whether or not she could physically run a certain mileage but whether or not her mind could—because your mind is what can really cause you problems.  That could be at mile 12 or at mile 2... and you just better hope it's not mile 2!  Preparing yourself mentally is one of the biggest helps to me.  That's why sometimes a 3 can feel so much worse than, say, a 7.  Because you brace yourself ahead of time for a 7, but in your head a 3 is "practically nothing"... and then you end up counting every minute!  A good thing to always "keep in mind."

OK, just kidding, I do have one more thing... speaking of friends.  I have said before that I have REALLY enjoyed the camaraderie of training with a big group, and just the other weekend I met a girl who works at the hospital here in town.  We got to talking (8 miles allows for longer conversations, that's for sure!), and after finding out I have Type 1 diabetes, she said I HAD to meet a friend of hers—a girl about my age who is a nurse, also has Type 1, and also runs marathons!  I honestly do not know many people at all my age who have Type 1, so I did something very out of character for me... I looked her up on Facebook when I got home and asked her if she'd want to grab coffee sometime!  I promise I am not a stalker... and I typically don't ever initiate things like that with strangers... but I'm so glad I did!  We had a great conversation over coffee the other day, and it was WONDERFUL chatting with someone else my age who not only has diabetes as well but is also a runner.  We gleaned a little wisdom from each other and shared stories, and I think it was a real encouragement to both of us.

On that note, I am ready to rest up for the rest of the week.  I am grateful to continually see God work in all of this, in only the ways He knows how...